If I Should Die Before I Wake
Christmas Scene 1
Artist & Musician! Or was is just “Sex, Drugs & Rock-n-Roll”… Way to much excess, too much everything, living in the fast lane, always burning the candle at both ends… yikes! Actually it was more like a bon fire raging out of control. Life in the proverbial fast lane ended up costing me everything and everyone I ever loved. All that’s left is the music in my head, everyone who I ever loved. All that’s left is the music in my head, everyone ever got too close to my inferno ended up burnt or at the very least singed. Those extremely wild times are now buried in the past, yet on the other hand it would be a lie to say I didn’t have fun…I’ve done, seen and experienced more than most folks will ever even imagine. Some of my best memories were just pone helluva good time partying like a rock star!
It all started when my old man bought me my first guitar at age 3. It was a garage sale special, broke down, beat up relic with only one string, but I had to have it. I begged and pleased relentlessly until he finally gave in. Much to the astonishment of everyone, I played by ear every childhood tune I knew and made up others on my own! I knew right from the very beginning I wanted to be a rock star and nothing else would do. Never a doubt, music was and always would be my first and true love of my life, above and beyond everything else.
Upon discovering I had talent, my parents did what many parents tend to do and “forced” me to tale “piano” lessons…what? I wanted to plat guitar and I was pissed! Ha Ha Ha LoL! Now, looking back I am forever grateful beyond words, as I grew to absolutely love and master piano and keyboards. Although I am a fairly good guitar player, I would never be “great”…yet piano came naturally, and I got to the point where I could hold my own on keys with just about anyone, indeed performing solo and in many bands over the years. I have been blessed with the honor and privilege of playing with some of the most talented people to ever play the Houson music scene, even playing with and opening for a few celebrities.
I never did become a rock star, but did manage to live the insanity of the old cliché, “Sex, Drugs & Rock-n-Roll” in excess to the extreme…replete with all the craziness that implies and then some. It was literally “Life in the fast lane, sure to make you lose your mind” 4real!
I grew up on a stage. Always one stage or another all my life, always performing, sometimes just trying to survive the stage of real life… You see, I grew up moving all over the USA from coast to coast to coast averaging 6 to 9 months to a residence. (Could never call anywhere “home”.) Always to a “new” place, in a “new” state. Always the “new” kid, reinventing myself as I plundered along trying to fit in with a totally “new” cast of characters, never really knowing who I was, only knowing who I wanted to be.
In Florida at around age 10 I got involved acting in a local theatre group where my mom was the costumer. I loved acting and learned a lot. I continued perfirming in drama and theatre all through my school years, right up until I dropped out of high school my sophomore year to become a professional musician and pursue my dream of becoming a rock star.
I made good money for a musician, but didn’t have a clue how to manage it and in the meantime reality caught up to me eventually in the form of hunger. One must eat to survive and unfortunately life in the fast lane was already taking a heavy toll…so I got a “real day job.” I once saw a bumper sticker that said “Real Musicians Have Day Jobs”, that was so true. I did a bit of everything to make money, a wide variety of jobs til I decided to get a “real” job…so…I gave the Oscar winning performance of my life…shaved, cut my hair, and lied my ass off to get hired at the phone company.
I was hired as a “Marketing Rep” and even convinced them to give me more money for my “vast experience and college education” – HA! Which surprisingly, they never bothered to verify…yee haw! Rock on 4real! I went on to become a lineman and loved every minute working there for 16 years. I left to be a general contractor, specializing in “interior artistic design” which is just a fancy way of saying I bid and charged more than everyone else to do artsy, fartsy one of a kind stuff, convincing people to do interesting and creative stuff to their homes. Most times it was my first time ever doing whatever it was they wanted done and I learned as I went, but I was the “expert, the artist!” and people loved paying me inordinate amounts of money so they could show off and brag to their friends. How rich is that? Life is strange and people can be so bizarre in their motivations. Go figure.
I went on to discover “E-Tag” and become an e-tag emergency wrecker, eventually starting and building my own wrecker company. I absolutely loved it! Chasing the Houston Police around zone 5, the adreneline rush racing through traffic like a Nascar driver, twisted metal, police chases, accident scenes, prisoner vehicles and stolen vehicle recovery, the whole thing was some of the best fun and extreme excitement ever and the money was huge, and mostly legal. I was so fortunate to love and enjoy most the jobs I ever did to make money. Of course, I also taught piano part time, tutored theory and performed solo and in bands all my adult life and performing was the penultimate joy… getting paid to party and have fun… rock on!
I cant say “I’ve done it all” but I have done many, many things, in fact I can honestly say I’ve done just about everything I ever wanted to or set out to do or imagined…well, except jumping out of a plane…sigh… I always wanted to skydive and just never actually got around to it. Other than that, music and art have always defined “who I am” to the very depth of my soul. Regardless of whatever else I was “doing” or what was going on. Music and art always came first.
Well…”Karma catches up with us all eventually,” so they say. Extenuating circumstances and bizarre irony landed me where I am facing imminent death. Honestly, I never expected to live this long in the first place. I lived my life, was blessed to do more than most folks can imagine and made mnay mistakes along the way. The thing is, I’ve made my peace with God and understand forgiveness and when the time comes for me to take the final curtain, I’m ready. I’m in no hurry mind you. I put myself here and accept responsibility for my fate with God’s blessing. In the meantime I still create art, and the music in my head and in my soul never stops. They cant take that away, thank God!
I am looking for friendship and intellectual stimulation. Please do take a chance and write. I have many interests and love to read anything and everything! Books are my salvation in this tiny dark cage of cold concrete and steel. Books, art and correspondence. Especially with pictures. I love pictures as they take me out of this place to the free world beyond these walls. Pictures help me exponentially to feel connected to the world of the living, and, the music never stops! I am interested in you, your thoughts, and your feelings, so, write, perhaps even send some pictures and lets talk!
Your friend and Brother in Christ
Tony Shore #999488