Windmills William D. Irwin April 19, 2008 When I was growing up I really never thought about the death penalty. I always thought that if you did the crime, the state of Texas would make sure you were the person who did it and it was just. Then in 2001 I was charged for a crime that happened in 1987. At the time that I went to the county jail, they were not seeking the death penalty. I spent the first two and a half years with only one attorney. Then when I would not take their plea bargain for 35 years, they took my attorney away and told me that I had to represent myself. At that time I was also notified that the state of Texas was seeking the death penalty. I thought I was going to go crazy. DEATH, finally I accepted it. My stand by attorney kept telling me not to worry. I knew that I did not kill this woman and from their notes they also knew this. Three years after being charged for capital murder I went to trial. I had my jury picked and was waiting on December 3rd to start. When I got news that my father had had a heart attack and died. My attorney asked the judge if I could go to the funeral, but oh no. I started trial on the 3rd and received the death penalty December 10. I kept asking what it was like on the row, but no one knew. Some would say that you are locked down in Dubble Door for 24/7. Some said you had TVs. I had no idea. I arrived on death row on March 4, 2004. Three years and four months after being charged. No TVs, but lock down 23/7. My first house 12-d-a-2cell. All I could see was a wall. I knew that they were killing people, but I did not know any of them. So I just blocked it out of my mind. I did see the execution list taped on the day room wall, but I tried not to look at it. Then one day I was at visit and it was an execution day. A man by the name of David Harris came walking by. He was escorted by rank. He looked at me and it broke my heart. I have never seen anyone walk to his death. I will never forget him. It did not take long until someone I knew was taking that walk. Then I moved to 12-a-a-13. Deathwatch was in that pod. Deathwatch is where they put all the guys with dates 90 days before they kill you. Not many of them went to rec. So I would always end up in their outside rec. I had to walk through their section and I always knew someone over there. When they would take them to be executed I could see all the people come and take them. I don't think I have ever felt like this. A few years later, I moved to 12-d-c-41. I had such a good view. I thought. I could see the parking lot and all of the people come and go. I could also see the back of the visiting room, and little did I know, I had to watch every person who was to be executed walk out that back door. I would watch and I knew who the family was. I could just tell. They would walk differently up the sidewalk. Not long before 20 o'clock all the rank would gather at the back door. They would joke and laugh back there. It would make me so sad. Then out would come the mans family, escorted by three or four officers. They would walk them all the way to their cars. You could see the hurt. Not long after that he would come. Some times walking other times strapped to a gurney. About 30 to 45 minutes later you would see the white van come out with two or three cars around it on the way to the walls unit. Sometimes I would cry other times it would just make me sick. I know that I have watched at least 40 men walk to their death. I just can't believe it. I always prayed that they would come back. I saw two men come back. One has been executed and the other is still here. Then the Supreme Court stopped the killing. I thought it was over. But on April 16, 2008 at 11:02 I found out that they ruled against us. I was hoping that I would never have to feel like that again. I think that the system is broke. You have people in the justice system like Kelly Siegler out of Harris County who just wanted to win cases at any cost. They don't care if you're guilty. How can they sleep at night??? You have innocent men and you have people here who did not do the killing. They were just there. They need to stop this machine and start over, it is not working. There has been enough blood shed all in the name of revenge. This does not bring back anyone and all it does is hurt others and destroy families. I'll keep hoping and praying that I live long enough to see it end. You do the same.